Dear Jessie,
I have been married for five months. When we go out lately, she is angry that I am looking at other girls. Maybe I am? I am not aware. Is this a common thing for the newly married? I love her and she is the first thing in my life. She says she trusts me, but it's disrespectful. What should I do?
My Dear Friend,
It's great that you are putting your wife first. It sounds as if you don't know when you are looking at other women. Somehow she is bringing insecurities about this type of behavior into your relationship - regardless it being you or her past. Regardless, simply ask her to tell you when you are doing this (in the moment). Tell her you don't want to create insecurity in your relationship and if there is anything you are doing that does this, you want to be very aware about it. It's completely honest to say you enjoy beauty, but if it takes away the attention from your wife, your nonverbal behavior says "DON'T TRUST ME - I'm looking." She picks up on this, makes meaning and then attacks you to make it VERY apparent it hurts her. If you don't want to hurt your wife, be a team and get this behind both of you.
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