Saturday, June 2, 2007

Living w/ my mom again

Dear Jessie,

I love my mom but now that we are in the same house together i feel like my childhood is back.. i am 34 and have an insecure feeling and worry to much of what she thinks of me... i don't like that.. i know we can't change people and that is not what i want to do i just want freedom within myself...



My Dear Friend,

I see you would like to build security with your mom so that you have freedom within your relationship.Without telling me what she has done that makes you react with insecurity, I would only be able to suggest to pay attention to what that might be. What exactly does she do that creates insecure feelings in the moment? When you can name her behavior (ie. snide remarks, criticism, etc), then find out her intention beneath the behavior. Let her know that her intention is not being fulfilled with her choice of behavior. Then, together, come up with a way to meet that intention in a more positive light!

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