Saturday, June 2, 2007

He wants to go fishing - withOUT me.

Dear Jessie,

My husband and I recently had a disagreement and I need an unbiased opinion. He works for a fishing company which is holding a "family fishing trip" The glitch is, spouses aren't invited but they can bring their kids. I was hurt when my husband told me he still wanted to go. I know I will feel really left out while he's spending a Sunday with his coworkers and their kids (we don't have kids). I can't make him feel the way I do, I just wish he did! What do you think?




My Dear Friend,
It can be hurtful when someone doesn't see your pain AND disregards it when you let them know directly how much it hurts. I wonder how many other spouses feel the same way you do. You are VERY correct in knowing you can't make him feel the way you do. That painful feeling must be coming from somewhere deep inside based on past experiences with him. Although, you really don't know where he's coming from unless you ask him this: "What is your intention behind participating in a work event without me?" If you truly listen and mirror what you hear him say, you will not feel pained anymore, but empathetic to his needs. If you want him to do the same with you, ask him if he'd be interested in knowing WHY you feel the way you do.You will find there is always a way to meet in the middle if both of you are willing to walk forward instead of backwards.

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